Note to self…

Self,

When you have to be at your desk, computer up and running, with your coffee at 8am, it is best not to sleep past your alarm. Yes, it is appropriate to hit the snooze button once or twice, but NOT ten times in a row! You see, when you get up late, you will inevitably miss your bus, which comes at 7:10 am. If you miss your bus (for which you purchased a $285 annual pass, don’t forget), then you are forced to drive to work. The gas you buy is currently $3.79 per gallon, your office is 8 miles away plus traffic, and the cheapest parking you’ve been able to find downtown is $13. You do the math.

I propose that you try going to bed at a reasonable hour, say by 10:30? No, that doesn’t mean you’re IN BED by 10:30 and about to spend another hour + reading/blogging/watching television. That means your lights are out at 10:30 and your head is on the pillow…well, the portion of the pillow not being hogged by your outrageously fluffy cat.

Try it for a week…just a week! Your wallet will thank you.

Sincerely,
You

ps…do some laundry already!

Weatherman: You’re Fired

This bad hair day I’m having? Yeah it’s your fault. When you said snow would start falling around 11 pm last night, hitting heaviest in the convergence zone where I live, I believed you. I even gave you a little “wiggle room”, guessing that sometime between 11 pm and 5 am, the storm would hit, making the morning commute a nightmare and guaranteeing a little extra snooze time for me. So I stayed up late. I surfed blogs, I worked on my book, I downloaded music. And at 5:30, when my first alarm went off, I looked out the window: nothin’. I hit snooze, figuring it would start to dump any minute and that, just as yesterday, I would get to sleep in. When I finally flew out of bed and into the shower at 6:05, there was still not a flake in sight.

So here I sit with a hastily-styled coif, on time at my desk, yawning. I feel robbed. And if a blizzard starts while I sit in my cubicle and I am forced to stay in a Renton hotel for the night because I can’t drive home, I vow to come and kick you’re ass personally.