Some people smoke. Some people chew gum. Others gnaw on toothpicks or suck on their teeth. I Starbucks.
Being from Seattle, coffee has become a way of life for me. Get up in the morning: Starbucks. Greeted at work by Lashes, who is in rare form w/ the attitude today: Starbucks. Falling asleep at your desk due to the tedium that is researching local corporate landscapes: you guessed it–proceed to the kitchenette and brew another cup (which just so happens to be Starbucks). The only way I would NOT Starbucks on any given day would be if someone was brewing Pete’s Coffee or Café Umbria, which is rare.
That being said, I’ll admit that I’ve become a bit of a snob when it comes to my daily jolt(s): I like it a certain way. If it’s a latte, I like it extra hot with vanilla—and no, sugar free vanilla does NOT count. If it is drip or French press, I like it with half and half and one packet of SweetN’Low (not Splenda)…you get the picture. This is where the beauty of Starbucks comes in. Sure, their coffee isn’t necessarily the greatest tasting on the planet—I’ve often heard it described as “bitter”, and I myself have even likened one of their concoctions to an ashtray. But where they sometimes fall short in taste, they more than make up for it in consistency. Case and point, about four years ago I made the trek across the pond to London on vacation. After a grueling day of travel (I hate flying), I arrived at Heathrow excited for my upcoming adventure but nonetheless desperate for the comforts of home. As I disembarked the plane into the terminal, what was the first thing I saw? Starbucks. And I’ll be damned if my Grande Vanilla Extra-Hot Latte didn’t taste exactly the same as back home. If I hadn’t been surrounded by Brits with funny accents, I would have sworn I’d never left Seattle.
But I digress.
I was pleased to learn recently that Starbucks is aiming to “get back to basics”, turning their attention back to what they do best: coffee. “Excellent!” I thought. “Get rid of all those ridiculous ‘breakfast sandwiches’, stock up on scones and let’s brew!” And then I found out, not only are they scaling back on their weird food selection, but on their workforce as well. This means less baristas steaming milk, which means customers are forced to linger in the store, thus increasing the odds of them making an impulse buy of some kind: a plush Starbucks Teddy Bear, a travel mug, a $1000 espresso machine, etc. Now I don’t know about you, but the last thing I need is another travel mug or, God forbid, a $1000 espresso machine that I won’t use and certainly can’t afford. What I DO need is my coffee, the way I’ve asked for it, in a quick and timely manner. So needless to say, when it took me 20 minutes to get my luke-warm coffee today, I was a little miffed. If there is one thing, ANYTHING, that Starbucks does right, it’s fast. So please, Starbucks, I beg you: if you’re “getting back to basics”, don’t forget to get me in and out in 5 minutes or less.
