I love that “Google” is a verb…
April 16, 2008I tell ya, people Google the strangest things! And their strange-and sometimes disturbing-searches often land them at my blog’s doorstep. I thought I would take this opportunity to address a few of them:
Cat Headed Warriors: Hmmm, I don’t know any. Anyone else?
Juicy Young Boys: Yes please! Sign me up…
Charlie Grenade: Uh, who? Don’t know him, and I’m not sure how a search for him steered you in my direction. A mystery, I say. Next!
How To Get A Guy To Sit Next To You: Wow, honey. Great question. My answer: try not to smell.
My Guts Hurt When I Do Psychokinesis: This sounds like a personal problem. Have you consulted your doctor? How about your friendly neighborhood parapsychologist? Science Fiction writer? Physicist? Get back to me when you find the answer…that’s a symptom I would very much like to avoid.
I know the rest of you out there get some doozies too. Care to share any of your favorites?
Oh, I get some fun ones, my all time favorite, “Dave Attell Siamese twin midgets”
Also: What happens if you put a cat in the microwave?, How to Cure Fungus Head, and of course I love it when someone googles my name
WHAAAT?! Siamese twin midgets?! Wow….that takes the cake. Although, a friend had “hairy monkey butts”. I don’t know what is worse, that his blog would even come up as a hit for “hairy monkey butts”, or that someone was searching for that in the first place. Yikes!
Oh jeez, let’s see. Retards on trampolines, fatty in sweat pants, danny cooksey’s mullet, tammy faye baker’s halloween mask, reading rainbow on that ass, pee free pants, and my favorite…..where Billy Webster lives. scary.
Sorry billy, that last one was me
Not really, though I would like to be a stalker, not of you, just in general. I just cannot find the time.
Oh My! “Reading Rainbow on that ass”? “Fatty in sweat pants”? Wow.
I say again…wow.
Oh! Just got another one today. Women peeing their pants (videos)
Gross. I think I may disappoint on that one.
Oh. My. God. What are you writing about?!?!?
Well, at least it wasn’t “Two Girls and a Cup (video)” because then, I would deny all knowlege of you, your blog, or anyone named William Webster. I know nothing.
Oh, and if you HAVEN’T seen that video, don’t.
I beg you, in the name of all that is still pure and sacred in this world, DON’T YOUTUBE THAT VIDEO!!!
Search terms that lead to my blog are mostly pretty boring…although I have gotten “vindictive, spiteful things” more times than I would’ve liked.
But the search term that completely dwarfs any other is the simple word “dentist.” It turns out I’m a bit of a Google image celebrity — for a picture I swiped from deep within an image search. Type in “dentist” into your google search bar and click on “images” to do an image search. Look whose blog the FIRST result links to.
Seriously, I get about 50 visits a day on average from that search term alone (including all related ones like “dentist pictures”). I get A LOT from schools…probably for elementary school career days or something. I get a lot of hits for that post for searches like “I accidentally swallowed my temporary tooth” — which I did and I even addressed it in more detail to comfort those coming to look for answers.
So yeah…my blog gets crazy exposure. It IS a pretty damn good dentist picture though. Probably the best one you’ll find within the first 4 pages. At least.
Oh…and I have stayed away from “2 girls and a cup.” I really want to avoid it at all costs.
OMG why WHY did I do a Google image search for “dentist”? The second pic that came up after yours was HORRIFYING! ick ick icky ick!
oh yeah…I forgot about that one. Sorry…
Well, if it makes you feel any better, apparently that picture was an urban legend and it is not dentist-related at all. It’s actually a deep “graze” of a bullet wound and was on one of those ER reality shows. I think that “dentist” picture and mine switch back and forth for the lead.