Oprah Winfrey…thoroughly aMUSEing!

I wrote earlier today that I am currently without inspiration and creativity when it comes to new content for my blog. I am in search of my Muse, and tonight I am excited to say I may have caught a glimpse of her (him…it…what is a muse, anyway?). My Muse, I came to discover, is much like me: often times serious, thoughtful and introspective, but mostly just hilarious and nerdy. Tonight, strangely enough, my Muse drifted across the airwaves and into my living room in the guise of Oprah Winfrey.

Recently, I read a post from one of my favorite bloggers about how readily information is available on the Internet. I too am surprised every day by the enormous amount of useless information one can find just floating around in the World Wide Web. And, believe it or not, someone out there wants that information, is looking for that information…dare I say needs that information (for what purpose, I don’t know). Well, this evening, I would submit to my blog pal that not only is random and often useless information found in abundance on the Internet, but you can also stumble across it while innocently watching Oprah*. Tonight I watched a repeat of the Oprah show featuring her favorite doctor pal, Dr. Oz. He’s an incredibly brilliant man, lovingly dedicated to educating the public on all things health related, which is really and truly great…but he always manages to cross the line. The line he crossed tonight? The Panty Line. That’s right…Dr. Oz went below the belt, and it was hilarious and disturbing all at the same time. Let me explain:

As a woman, I am very aware of the fact that there is an “air of mystery” that surrounds my sex. We women are alluring, complicated, tantilizing creatures of beauty and intrigue, and quite frankly, you dudes out there like it that way. Just when you think you’ve got us all figured out, we throw you for a loop, change directions suddenly…and you can admit it, guys: it adds to the thrill of the chase. Let’s face it, deep down under all the flirty games and the teasing and the taunting, us ladies want to be caught, and men are more than happy to oblige. Once captured, the awe-inspiring beauty of the female body waits, ready to be explored. Are you picturing it, gentlemen? There with me?

Now, let’s let Dr. Oz and Oprah in on the action. How would they describe it? Well, Oprah calls it her “Va-jay-jay” and Dr. Oz described it as “A Self-Cleaning Oven”. EXCUSE ME?! I’m sorry, but I’ve seen The Vagina Monologues and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t one entitled “My Crotch is a Self-Cleaning Oven.” Thanks, Dr. Oz. You’ve officially destroyed the mood. Hot & heavy couples everywhere will forever curse your name when thoughts of the Maytag Man or the sales guy at the Best Buy drift into their head during a make-out session.

“Self-Cleaning Oven”…really?! What ever happened to “Sacred Flower”? Sheesh.

**What follows is only ONE example of the useless, random, and unsolicited info I received while watching this program. So, you see? You can find random info ANYWHERE!