“When it’s all over…I’ll come back for another year”

Ok, I’ll admit. I’ve been distant. There I said it. It’s just that things have been so crazy busy and…well, I’m not one for excuses. So, no need to point out that I’ve been a sorry excuse for a blogger these past weeks. I’m here now, let’s just move on…

It’s Saturday night, and I have the condo all to myself, a novelty these days. The roomies are out of town visiting family until the 3^rd, so it’s just me and the cat holding down the fort…and I’ll admit, I’m digging the solitude. For a gal who lived alone for years, and now shares a place with 2 other people PLUS a menagerie of pets, I can’t remember the last time I was alone with no distractions. It got me thinking about all the things that have happened to me this year…I almost didn’t realize it, like not being able to see the forest for the trees, but 2007 was a HUGE year for me, full of changes, revelations, break-throughs, laughter, tears…you name it, it happened.

If you’ve ever heard the expression (and I’m so paraphrasing here) “When one door closes, someone opens a window”, that was definitely my experience in 2007. I was closing doors left and right that had been stuck open for YEARS letting all the good stuff escape and letting all the bad shit in. I closed the door on bad men and crappy relationships that had been plaguing me since college. I closed the door on being a loner, holed up like a recluse in my apartment with only Pippin for company. I closed the door on all the negative thoughts and demons that told me time and time again that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough to have the job and the life that I really wanted, that I really deserved. And, lo and behold, those proverbial windows started opening!

There are no new men in my life to speak of , but I’ve come to the realization that the good ones, if indeed there are any left out there, are worth the wait. And truth be told, if we were to cross paths any time soon, I’m not quite sure I’d be ready for you yet! Like I mentioned earlier, I ceased being a loner when I moved back in with 2 of the best gals in Seattle, whom I lived with back in college and who probably know me better than most. They have been instrumental in encouraging me to rediscover myself, to say “Poo poo!” to all the haters out there, and to pursue life tenaciously instead of waiting for life to come looking for me. And finally, I found the courage and the self-confidence to go after a job with a company that would truly appreciate (and compensate!) all I have to offer, whom I could invest in, and who would invest in me in return.

Strangely enough, on a lonely summer night this past June, I sat in my apartment listening to music, Andrew McMahon’s melodies shooting like arrows straight into my soul and hitting the bull’s-eye every time. And on this lonely winter night, just like so many months (that seem like years) ago, I sit at my computer with Jack’s Mannequin playing, and Andrew is once again shooting arrows at my heart: “Finally, I’m letting go of all my downer thoughts. In no time there’ll be one less sad robot looking for a chance to be something more than just metal…”

So, in light of all the changes in 2007, I think I can safely say that 2008 is going to effing ROCK! I generally hate new years resolutions, but in anticipation of Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years (which I will be spending alone, no biggie) and the big ball drop just a few days from now, I thought I‘d be a good sport and let you all in on a few goals of mine for the new year: 2008 is going to be the Year of the Blog (weeks will not pass between posts, I promise); our kitchen WILL STAY CLEAN(er); yoga and meditation is in my future (as is the sci-fi/fantasy book club at EBBC again); I will get my oil changed more often; I will figure out how to work the heat in our condo, cause I’m freezing; I will move more, in the hopes of swimming in my clothes by June; I will watch less TV, which will be hard once the writer’s stike ends; and finally, The Evolution of Me will continue…I’ll carry on pursuing the best possible version of me, and I promise to take you with me! Enjoy the ride…

A Rude Awakening…

One of the nice things about living in the Northwest is that, for the most part, within only a couple of hours, you can drive almost any kind of vacation destination you could desire: to the mountains to go skiing, to the ocean (or lake) to go sailing, to take a hike through the Olympic Rain Forest, or to another country to run from the law or obtain illegal prescription medication. For me, one of the appeals is that I’m far enough away from my family to feel like an independent adult, but close enough that I can still go visit at the drop of a hat. The 192 mile drive from Seattle to Portland takes about 3.5 hours and is one that I make several times a year. It’s a tedious trip at times, made bearable by plugging in the Zune and singing along at the top of my lungs. In fact, in just a few weeks, I will be driving home to Portland to spend Christmas with my family.

 

This year’s commute will be no different than other years: the Zune will be plugged in with a myriad of newly-downloaded music to sing along to, the trunk will be packed with gifts ready to be wrapped w/ my mother’s wrapping paper upon arrival, and Pippin will be jumping back and forth between the back seat and the front. But this year, about halfway through the trip, the harsh reality of a not-so-Merry Christmas will set in.

 

Most times, it seems the “rainy season” doesn’t really kick in around Western Washington until January or February. But both last Christmas time and now again this year, we’ve experienced some pretty major storms. (Someone call Al & Leo with the Global Warming Police!!!!) And along with the major storms, came some pretty major flooding. So bad, in fact, that Washington Election Thief Governor, Christine Gregoire, has declared a State of Emergency, and certain parts of Western Washington are being considered “disaster areas”.

 

To put in perspective, here’s an aerial photo of a stretch of I5 passing through Chehalis, Washington:

 

As you can see, flooding was so bad in this area, they had to shut down the highway! And I5 is the only major artery through Western Washington to Western Oregon. Only one detour was suggested, for those that simply had to drive from Seattle to Portland while the highway was closed: drive 143 miles through a snowy mountain pass to Yakima, WA., and from there, drive an additional 185 miles through the windy Columbia River Gorge to Portland. A 6 hour, one way trip!!!!

 

Despite the fact that our Condo is situated right on the Sammamish River Slough, we really weren’t in any danger of flooding. But what brought the disaster home for me was when I saw this picture:

During every trip north or south to visit the family, I stop at this exit to get gas, take a potty break, and get coffee. I can’t even make out where the gas station IS in this photo. Seeing this definitely put things into perspective for me. While (other than my pit stop needs) I remained virtually un-affected by the flood waters, there are many in our region suffering innumerable losses. This Christmas, as I rush around trying to find appropriate gifts to give my family, gifts that will communicate my love and appreciation for them year round, I think of the local flood victims for whom basic necessities are denied them this season. The desire to give has arisen in me, and while I don’t like to give financial contributions, I’m determined to discover a donation center where basic needs can be dropped off for distribution amongst those most affected.

 

Let’s all do our best this season to acknowledge the blessings we take for granted, give an extra hug to those we love that are safe, sound and healthy, and find a way to spread the joy of Christmas to those desperate for the Kindness of Strangers.

 

P.S…on a COMPLETELY insensitive note, I have discovered the snacks drawers at work. I have hit the mother-load)

Pippin, Warrior Cat (aka: “Dear Roomie, I’m sorry my cat attacked your face….”)

Due to the bizarre happenings at the Bothell Condo last night, I thought this was as good a time as any to introduce Pippin, Warrior Cat:

  

Pippin is a pure bred male Persian, aproximately 6 years old. He’s King of the Condo, Mr. Fuzzy Butt, a lover and a fighter, and on his worst day he gives Battle Cat a run for his money. (Ok, truthfully, on his BEST day he pretty much lays around the condo soaking up all the love the three of us can bestow on him.)

 

He is probably the coolest cat I’ve ever known…cat haters everywhere will convert within the first few minutes of meeting Pip. He’s mostly mellow, sometimes a little feisty, but last night he went completely nuts! Pippin, Warrior Cat became Pippin, Psycho Cat. Let me set the scene (oh, and I have schematics!!!)….

 

Last night, one of the roomies and I were downstairs soaking up the warmth of the fireplace, eating dinner and watching season one of Arrested Development on DVD. We were chillin’: Roomie was studying for finals, the Bunny was hopping around, and Pippin was lounging on the coffee table atop one of the throw pillows from the couch. Suddenly, from off in the distance, the low pulsing sounds of a helicopter was heard. Pippin (being a warrior cat—duh) perked up, eyes wide, ears pricked to the sound of the chopper blades growing closer.

 

Next thing you know, he has pounced, aimed at the back of the couch where Roomie sits (from which he will launch himself towards the mysterious sound). But, alas…the cushion he was formerly snoozing on, is caught in his back claw!! Being agile, he redirects mid-air…OFF OF ROOMIE’S HEAD!

 

Zooming towards the coffee table, killer attack pillow on his heels (literally), Pippin the now-Psycho Cat again redirects mid-air, this time off the laptop, which sends it crashing to the floor. Roomie is ducking and screaming, and I’m jumping out of the way as Pip lands on the floor next to me. Immediately, he jumps again to get away from his attacker (the docile pillow innocently along for the ride).

 

Zooming through the air once again, Pip realizes that although he has lost the pillow, he is now headed straight towards his arch enemy, Bunny!! (Laying in wait near the wall, Bunny is sweetly munching her lettuce, completely oblivious to the chaos reigning around her). Taking immediate action to avoid Bunny (again, being very agile…but this time, not so smart), he overshoots his landing, smacking into the wall!! He ricochets onto the carpet, just past Bunny but well out of range of the attack pillow, and slinks away to the other side of the couch.

Roomie and I look at eachother: “WTF??????” The ruckus was so loud (and our laughs so riotous) that Other Roomie came all the way downstairs to see what was happening. Needless to say, Pippin was afraid of the pillow (among other things) for the rest of the night. I physically had to carry him upstairs to my bedroom for a drink of water and a little “down time”.

 

Pippin, Warrior Cat is now completely retarded. It was a strange night, and Roomie and I are still shaking our heads about what freaked him out so.

 

(P.S…How PHAT are those PowerPoint slides?!?!)

 

 

S.O.A.P: so fresh and so clean

I often describe myself as a reformed “Jesus Freak”, which sounds incredibly disparaging, and I don’t mean for it to. There once was a time (from 1997-2006) when I attended church more than once a week, sang in a praise band, daily read one of many copies of The Bible that I own, and meditated often on my relationship with God. I haven’t set foot in a church in a year and a half (the reason why is a topic for another post altogether), I haven’t opened a Bible in equally as long, nor have I raised my voice in praise. I feel incredibly different from the girl I was then: I’ve grown, changed, evolved (this is The Evolution of Me, after all!). So I was surprised when, during a frantic search for my passport the other night, my S.O.A.P journal from early 2006 surfaced…and proved to me that while I may have grown and evolved, my relationship with Him is steadfast and unchanging.

While I’ve never been great at consistent journaling (not for lack of trying!), a S.O.A.P journal was a concept that I could really get behind back then. It takes maybe 15 minutes out of your day, but it can be incredibly profound and revealing. S.O.A.P stands for “Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer”, and is a method of critically reading and applying scripture to your daily life. How it works: read a small section of Scripture (usually 1 chapter from a book of the Bible), choose one or two verses that particularly stick out to you from that selection, and write them down. Next, write down your Observation from those verses. Then, think of how it Applies to your life and write that down. Finally, write down your Prayer in response to what you’ve read.  What follows is my S.O.A.P entry from February 16, 2006:

SCRIPTURE:
The Gospel of Mark 1:16-18  One day, as Jesus was walking along the shores of the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother, Andrew, fishing with a net, for they were commercial fishermen. Jesus called out to them, “Come, be my disciples, and I will show you how to fish for people!” And they left their nets at once and went with him.

OBSERVATION:
Simon and Andrew are commercial fishermen…this is their job, what they do day in and day out to provide for their families. And they immediately (at once) dropped everything and followed Jesus upon His command. They didn’t ask “Why?”. They didn’t worry about making arrangements, or putting in their two weeks notice. They dropped everything where it was and obeyed Jesus’ word.

APPLICATION:
God doesn’t approach us at a time that is convenient for us. He comes in His timing…and all He cares about is our obedience! We needn’t worry ourselves with tying up the loose ends before following Him. If God was worried about them, He would have come at a different time. But God’s timing is perfect, so we should have that much more confidence in our obedience to Him.

PRAYER:
Lord, help me to remember it is my obedience you desire, not my help. God, in my simple obedience to you, remind me that I need to lay aside what I am currently doing and join you in what you are doing*. Help me to remain confident and assured that I will not only be filled with the desire to be obedient, but that You are one who will enable me to actually do it. God, you are present in the details.
*note: How is my inability to act immediately in obedience to the Lord getting in the way of his will for my life? How am I keeping God from blessing me today?

Now, I’ll admit that from where I stand, life seems pretty sweet: new job, great friends, fab place to live. And yet, this S.O.A.P redirected my mind a bit and reminded me how important it is to take a step back and evaluate things from a fresh and clean angle. In what ways am I standing in the way of my own success? How is my desire to be “helpful” and “do it myself” getting in the way of what God wants to do for me? He wants me to be free, to have all manner of good things. How am I keeping Him from blessing me today?

Oprah Winfrey…thoroughly aMUSEing!

I wrote earlier today that I am currently without inspiration and creativity when it comes to new content for my blog. I am in search of my Muse, and tonight I am excited to say I may have caught a glimpse of her (him…it…what is a muse, anyway?). My Muse, I came to discover, is much like me: often times serious, thoughtful and introspective, but mostly just hilarious and nerdy. Tonight, strangely enough, my Muse drifted across the airwaves and into my living room in the guise of Oprah Winfrey.

Recently, I read a post from one of my favorite bloggers about how readily information is available on the Internet. I too am surprised every day by the enormous amount of useless information one can find just floating around in the World Wide Web. And, believe it or not, someone out there wants that information, is looking for that information…dare I say needs that information (for what purpose, I don’t know). Well, this evening, I would submit to my blog pal that not only is random and often useless information found in abundance on the Internet, but you can also stumble across it while innocently watching Oprah*. Tonight I watched a repeat of the Oprah show featuring her favorite doctor pal, Dr. Oz. He’s an incredibly brilliant man, lovingly dedicated to educating the public on all things health related, which is really and truly great…but he always manages to cross the line. The line he crossed tonight? The Panty Line. That’s right…Dr. Oz went below the belt, and it was hilarious and disturbing all at the same time. Let me explain:

As a woman, I am very aware of the fact that there is an “air of mystery” that surrounds my sex. We women are alluring, complicated, tantilizing creatures of beauty and intrigue, and quite frankly, you dudes out there like it that way. Just when you think you’ve got us all figured out, we throw you for a loop, change directions suddenly…and you can admit it, guys: it adds to the thrill of the chase. Let’s face it, deep down under all the flirty games and the teasing and the taunting, us ladies want to be caught, and men are more than happy to oblige. Once captured, the awe-inspiring beauty of the female body waits, ready to be explored. Are you picturing it, gentlemen? There with me?

Now, let’s let Dr. Oz and Oprah in on the action. How would they describe it? Well, Oprah calls it her “Va-jay-jay” and Dr. Oz described it as “A Self-Cleaning Oven”. EXCUSE ME?! I’m sorry, but I’ve seen The Vagina Monologues and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t one entitled “My Crotch is a Self-Cleaning Oven.” Thanks, Dr. Oz. You’ve officially destroyed the mood. Hot & heavy couples everywhere will forever curse your name when thoughts of the Maytag Man or the sales guy at the Best Buy drift into their head during a make-out session.

“Self-Cleaning Oven”…really?! What ever happened to “Sacred Flower”? Sheesh.

**What follows is only ONE example of the useless, random, and unsolicited info I received while watching this program. So, you see? You can find random info ANYWHERE!

Ch-Ch-Changes…

Happy Monday! Well, ok not-so-happy Monday. When it rains, it pours here in Seattle…and I do mean that literally. I know in a previous post, I alluded to the fact that it really doesn’t rain all that much here in the Pacific Northwest. And I still maintain that it does not, in fact, rain to the extent that people think it does. HOWEVER when it does rain, it fruckin’ DUMPS. And when it does, people’s brains around here become water-logged and they forget how to drive. My average speed during this morning’s commute was about 25 miles per hour…took me over an hour. Pissy. 

Anyway…this post is to advise about a couple of changes here at the old blog. First and foremost, you may have noticed a change in the layout/format of the site. The hurricane has blown over, and while I still consider this blog a chronicle on The Evolution of Me, I thought a happier theme better reflected my frame of mind these days (hurray!). Secondly, I have added a few more pages worth noting: one for if you feel the deep urge to contact me via email (don’t spam me, I will kick your ass), and the other includes a little extra info about me…you know, the really important stuff you’ve just been dying to know. It was inspired by a couple other blog friends of mine who did the same thing: one whom I know (and she’s as awesome as she sounds), and one whom I don’t know (but I really wish I did cause he frickin’ rocks). 

For reasons unknown, I’ve hit a bit of a writers block the past few days. I’m feeling very un-funny, un-interesting, and un-motivated to get un-un-inspired—did that make sense? So, I apologize in advance if new posts are a little scarce this week. If you read anything in my Top 100 that you want to know more about, let me know…perhaps that will inspire a new post! 

Till then…I’m off to find my muse!

Awww, man!

If I didn’t have a fabulous holiday party to go to tonight, I would think this was beautiful:

But considering I DO have a fabulous holiday party to go to tonight, I must say the snow SUCKS!!!! If you don’t hear from me again for a while, I’m probably stuck on the side of the road looking adorable and festive…someone come and rescue me.